I’m terrified of Twitter – but, it’s ok, I’m not alone. James Arthur is terrified and if Peaches Geldof and Katie Hopkins aren’t terrified by now, they probably should be. My own terror, however, is for another reason. I only started tweeting last month and I have become obsessed with how many people are following me (not a lot) and even more obsessed with how many people are following everyone else (Peaches has 168,000 followers !?!). I am also spending an indecent amount of time composing 140 characters. My partner keeps reminding me that it’s going to be out there forever so I figure I need to try my best to make it literary. But I don’t think spending thirty minutes on one tweet is really what it’s about or time well spent.
A couple of weeks ago when I was in WH Smith, I saw a book on the non-fiction bestsellers shelf called Dot Complicated by Randi Zuckerberg (sister of Mr Facebook). It professed to be an essential guide to social media so I bagged myself a copy and headed to the cash desk. But it’s only scared me more. Randi says that these days our online brand starts when we’re in the womb with those scans that parents-to-be post on facebook. What happens if you’re not a good-looking foetus? She also advises that any prospective parents should check what Twitter handles are available before they decide on a name and make sure they also choose something easily googleable. #Aghhhhhhhhhh.
Actually, just to prove there are silver linings and all that, if I don’t ever manage to get pregnant, at least I won’t have to worry that my social media incompetence is going to scar my baby for life. Phew. I feel much better now.
So this week’s question, what technology are you terrified of?
Ha ha! How does Twitter manage to be totally trivial and all-powerful at the same time??
Who knows but that bird sure does have a lot to say for itself!