Don’t Mention The War

by | 14 Sep 2014

‘Don’t mention the war. I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it.’  Basil Fawlty, Fawlty Towers, Episode 6 – The Germans

Next month it will be a year since I officially came out about my infertility. When I was recently asked to speak at the Fertility Show at Olympia which is taking place on 1 2 November there was no better marker of how far I had come.

Last year I attended the show for the first time. For years, I used to look at the adverts for it on the tube but I never dared go, too afraid of rubbing shoulders with someone who knew me (or even someone who didn’t) and exposing the shameful secret that I couldn’t conceive. But last year I persuaded myself that I might make some good contacts for the marketing of my book and off I went.

For anyone who hasn’t been, it’s like a wedding fayre but for babies. There is no better evidence of how big a business fertility has become and how many people are affected by it. It offers unparalleled access to some of the top experts in the field and is an amazing source of information and inspiration. I highly recommend it.

A year later and now I’m speaking at it. How did that happen? My talk is entitled ‘Managing your fertility clinic – a user guide’. Having been to nearly a dozen fertility clinics and experts in my time, I do feel I know a lot about the subject and it’s great to have an opportunity to share some of what I’ve learnt. But at the same time I do feel a bit of a fraud because the truth is I clearly haven’t managed my fertility clinics that well because they haven’t given me the ultimate. They haven’t given me a baby.

Sometimes I wonder how it came to pass that I became a spokesperson on the subject of fertility even though I’m not yet a mother. But on a good day it makes me smile and think of that classic comedy moment in Fawlty Towers between Basil and the Germans. Except the line I’m saying (goose-step optional) is: ‘Don’t mention there isn’t a baby. I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it! ‘


  1. Joanna

    So what will your no. 1 piece of advice be about the clinic experience?! (And big congrats for your well earned slot – you have so much to share!!)

    • thepursuitofmotherhood

      I started to write my list yesterday (love a list as you know). One (although maybe not No. 1) is definitely going to be don’t get too obsessed about your clinic ‘liking you’ because you think if they do they’re more likely to deliver you a baby. It’s not facebook after all!

  2. kiftsgate

    This is very exciting and well deserved. I admire you for what you are doing. You are simply great! Let us know how the fertility show goes.

    • thepursuitofmotherhood

      Thank you! I really appreciate your comments and support. And ps. I think I’ve managed to find out why your blog posts weren’t coming through and have rectified the problem. Hurrah! Jessica x