by | 4 Jan 2015

I’ve been having an existential blog crisis. At around about this time last year I made a resolution. I set myself the challenge of writing a blog every Sunday night and, this week, Ms WordPress emailed to say I’d done exactly that. But when do last year’s resolutions end? Am I to continue to post every Sunday for the rest of my life? If not, when do I stop? According to many social media gurus the blog is dead. Even Snapchat is so last year. I also worry that I might be boring you as much as I sometimes bore myself.

So after much deliberation, I’ve decided I am going to continue but, this year, I will be blogging every other Sunday instead. There will be some more of what came before but today’s blog also officially marks the start of a new beginning in my thinking and writing about the pursuit of motherhood. That’s because I’ve also got three new resolutions for 2015 – to swim the English Channel in order to raise money for families without the children they long for and children without the families they deserve; to enlist some inspirational famous women to support my swim and help me decide what to do next in my pursuit of happiness which might be motherhood or maybe not; and to write a new book about it all. A book which asks the two questions that I believe all women have to face. Is motherhood worth pursuing? Does it make you happy?

I hope some of you will join me on the journey. See you in two weeks time.


  1. kiftsgate

    Happy new year! Nice resolutions. I just want to say you do not bore us (at least me!) and that your swimming challenge is super cool! xx

  2. Sheila Lamb

    Happy New Year to you to Jessica. I have not come across any boring people in the fertility arena at all – least of all you! Have a great 2015, may it be exactly what you want 🙂 xx

    • thepursuitofmotherhood

      Thank you so much Shelia! It means a lot to have your support. Here’s hoping 2015 is a great one for you too. Jessica x

  3. josephinelloyd81

    Wow! I couldn’t swim the length of my bath tub , never mind the channel! Good luck with the challenge. P.s I love reading your posts. Please keep going! Xx

    • thepursuitofmotherhood

      I could hardly swim the length of my bath tub when I started. They say it’s one of the toughest physical and mental challenges on the planet but I’m figuring that so is IVF so I’ve been in excellent training for years! Thanks for your lovely comments about my posts too. It means a lot. Jessica x

  4. Jessica Noble

    Jessica, I don’t think you could be boring if you tried! You never ever bore me – just the opposite! Well done on doing such a great job of your 2014 resolution, that is commitment for you! I am sure that your 2015 resolutions will be just as successful – wishing you the very best of luck with them all….. I am in awe that you are planning to swim the channel! I am so glad that you are going to continue blogging as I always look forward to your next blog post. I hope that 2015 is a really great year for you and brings you lots of happiness.
    Jessie x

    • thepursuitofmotherhood

      Thank you so much. I’m so touched at how lovely everyone’s being about my blog and my resolutions. I wasn’t asking for it – honestly – but it means a lot to me to know that people enjoy my post and definitely gives me the incentive I need to keep writing, and swimming! I really hope 2015 is a great one for you too. Thank you again, and much love Jessica x

  5. jnorland

    Here’s looking forward to the bi-weekly updates. The new book sounds fantastic. Can’t wait to see how it progresses. Happy 2015!!!

    • thepursuitofmotherhood

      Thanks Jo. Looking forward to discussing it with you – happy 2015 to you too! Jessica x

  6. Diane

    Why don’t you write a play?…..

    • thepursuitofmotherhood

      That would be a busman’s holiday for someone who has spent their life working in theatre! I’m not sure I could….

  7. airwolfgirl

    Happy New Year! How exciting, am looking forward to the new post in 2 weeks time. And as soon as you have a sponsor-me-link for the swim, please post it.
    Have been waiting for a new book from you 🙂

    • thepursuitofmotherhood

      Thank you! And happy new year to you too. Next post will definitely be with you in two weeks time, sponsorship stuff in a couple of months (thank you in advance!) and the book…well autumn/next spring I hope. Have no idea how it ends yet! Jessica x

  8. Bec

    Hi Jessica, I have just finished your book and I am in awe of your (and Peter’s) tenacity and resilience. Over the last 48 hours it took to read I found myself laughing out loud, nodding in fierce agreement, and feeling those familiar feelings of sadness in relation to both of our journeys through IVF and beyond. Thank you.

    I love your 2015 resolutions – I am a true believer in helping others and being involved in local community. I look forward to reading about your preparations and eventual swim across the Chanel through your blog. An Australian called Suzie Maroney did it some years ago now – such an achievement – I wish you well.

    The questions you pose for your next book will make for a thought provoking and interesting read. I look forward to it!


    • thepursuitofmotherhood

      Hi Bec, what a beautiful message to receive. Thank you so much for reading and I’m so glad it resonated with you. Where are you at now with your journey (feel free to email me at if you’d rather not comment here). I’d love to know. I haven’t heard of Suzie Maroney but I’ll definitely look her up as I’m planning to contact some of the women who have swum it (there are of course less of us than men in fact I think only around 500 in total). I’m really hoping that the next book will be interesting for mothers and non mothers – I want to connect us all more. Many thanks again for writing. It means a lot. Jessica x

  9. Jane

    Hi Jessica – thank you for your blogs and please write your new book. My 17 year IVF journey is over without our baby and so your next book I am certain will help me and many others who struggle daily for the strength to let go of the dream.

    • thepursuitofmotherhood

      I will – and I share your struggle. 17 years! Ours is 10 years this month and I can hardly believe it. It has consumed me. I can only imagine what it’s been like for you but I know it will have been beyond hard. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I hope we can stay in touch. Jessica x

  10. Bec
    Hi Jessica
    Above is the Wikipedia link re Suzie. Apparently she swam it back and forth in record time. Pretty good achievement! No pressure?!?
    I am happy to update you, thanks for inquiring. Half way though this pregnancy with no complications thus far. A relief after my last devastating loss. I am more than happy to provide insight on my own experience concerning the use of donor eggs should you ever be interested.
    Cheers Bec

    • thepursuitofmotherhood

      Wow she’s some woman. What an amazing story. I had no idea and I can’t believe she did a two-way in 17 hours. I’ll consider myself lucky if I get there one way in 17 hours. I would love to hear more about your experience with donor eggs. I’ve met two amazing women for my book who have donor egg babies and it’s definitely something I’m weighing up. I hope things continue to go well. I’m sure you’ll be worried until the day he/she arrives but everyday that goes by it gets closer. Much love Jessica x

    • thepursuitofmotherhood

      Hi Bec – me again – just realised it was you who had the amazing gift of eggs from your friend. Is this a pregnancy from that gift or is it your second child? It really is a wonderful story. I’d love to know anything more you feel able to share. Jessica x

  11. evamg26

    Not boring at all!!! Looking forward to read your next book, I really enjoyed your first, as someone already said I laughed, cried and nodded many times through the reading. Love your honesty! All the best! xx

    • thepursuitofmotherhood

      It always makes me so happy when people say they liked it so thank you for making my day! The honesty will definitely continue and hopefully a few laughs and no doubt a few tears too. Such is life (my life!) Jessica x

  12. Jill

    I’ve just discovered you Jessica. Unfortunately I discovered the world of infertility two years ago. & my latest discovery was that ivf doesn’t always work. Can you believe my naivety that I thought it would work for us first time. Infertitly has left me feeling a foolish woman. You however are enlightening. And I am delighted to have found you. So thank you.

    • thepursuitofmotherhood

      Hi! Many thanks for discovering me, I’m delighted that you did! And, yes, sadly IVF doesn’t always work and I am definitely the proof of that. I really appreciate you sending me a message and I hope to continue to entertain you with my thoughts on motherhood and non motherhood and life generally. Keep in touch. Jessica x